Organizations that bring youth together should be prepared to prevent and respond to the occurrence of sexual behaviors between youth. Children and adolescents are sexual beings, but with far less knowledge, experience, and self-control than adults. Early sexual experimentation is normative and typically innocuous. However, relative to adults, youth who engage in sexual behaviors are at greater risk of making mistakes or bad decisions that can cause harm, in large part because they know relatively little about appropriate sexual behavior, partners, and concepts such as consent. Moreover, even innocuous behavior may be inappropriate in organizational settings.

Subjecting youth to the same policies, practices, and expectations as adults is insufficient and potentially harmful. Expectations for behavior should be based on developmental stage, which differs between children, teens, and adults. This is true even when the same legal requirements might be triggered regardless of age or development.

Likewise, simply telling youth that all sexual behavior is prohibited is unlikely to extinguish such behavior. Children and adolescents may not know what constitutes appropriate sexual behavior or what to do when they experience or are the subject of sexual interest. Organizations are encouraged to provide youth with clear, developmentally appropriate guidance on expectations for sexual behavior during organizational activities and outings and while on organizational grounds, and on concepts such as privacy, personal boundaries, and consent within an overarching framework of healthy (versus dangerous) sexuality.

Move beyond a victimization focus. Many YSOs train youth to recognize, resist, and report sexual abuse. When properly conducted, such trainings can increase knowledge about sexual abuse and may help youth disclose ongoing or past victimization and experience less self-blame. However, a narrow or exclusive focus on victimization experiences can encourage an inaccurate perception among youth and staff that all sexual interactions between youth should be treated as crimes and ignores the importance of youth friendships, which can become consensually romantic or sexual. A victimization-only focus fails to provide youth with guidance about developmentally appropriate behaviors and overlooks the fact that half or more of sexual abuse against youth is caused by other youth. Guidance for youth, including teen leaders, should include information on appropriate and inappropriate physical and verbal interactions, the nature of consent and coercion, and the importance of maintaining behavioral boundaries with younger youth. Teen leaders in particular may find it more difficult to navigate relationships with youth participants who are close in age and developmental status. Thus, specific coaching for teen leaders regarding appropriate behavior will be important.

Move beyond a zero-tolerance approach. It may be tempting to simply state that all sexual behavior is against organizational rules and will result in expulsion of one or both of the involved youth. However, this approach risks disenfranchising the very youth who may benefit most from the caring and professional involvement of organizational staff and volunteers. Youth whose behavior is immature, impulsive, and/or simply uninformed would benefit more from education on why a certain behavior is against the rules and from the opportunity to recover from the mistake than from being kicked out of the program.

A zero-tolerance policy also fails to recognize the reality of youth as sexual beings. Responses to youth sexual interactions should include a range of options including ignoring certain behaviors (e.g., handholding, mutual kissing, self-touching in an appropriately private place).

Responses to non-ignorable but apparently mutual sexual behaviors can include redirection (e.g., instructing all youth to place hands on desks as a non- stigmatizing way to intervene with a youth who is self-touching during class), calmly separating the youth and reminding them of the rules, increasing supervision, and communicating with parents of the involved youth. Staff should be trained to immediately intervene and end coercive sexual interactions, report such behaviors to their supervisors, and contact parents of the involved youth. Organizations may also provide parents with referrals to family-focused services that address abuse victimization or problem sexual behavior.

Develop clear reporting guidance for youth sexual behavior. Coercive sexual behaviors involving youth may need to be reported to child protective services or law enforcement. Unfortunately, mandatory reporting policies are often vague, especially when it comes to reporting the behavior of youth. Organizations should determine ahead of time the criteria for reporting coercive sexual interactions in a manner that complies with the law while accounting for the potential risks to youth of both under-reporting and over-reporting sexual interactions.

Be alert for bias. Research demonstrates that mutual sexual exploration or behavior between youth of the same sex, between LGBTQ youth, and between (or involving) Black youth is more likely to be reported and acted on than sexual behavior between white youth of different sexes.

Research also demonstrates that youth with cognitive and/or physical disabilities are often incorrectly assumed to be uninterested in sex and are less likely to be educated about appropriate sexual behavior and concepts.

Organizations should strive to ensure that all youth in their care are provided with developmentally appropriate guidance and that emerging sexuality is viewed by staff and volunteers as an expected, normative development as youth age into and through puberty. In particular, decisions to report youth sexual behavior to the authorities should be scrutinized by supervisors for implicit bias (e.g., an adult’s overreaction to mutual interactions involving two boys or two girls).

Involve youth and parents. Guidance on educating youth about sexual behaviors and whether and how to intervene when these behaviors inevitably appear should be developed in collaboration with youth and parents. Such collaboration helps ensure that guidance provided by the organization aligns with local norms.

The goodwill engendered by involving youth and parents in these discussions ahead of time may also help engender a more collaborative (vs. adversarial) approach with parents when intervention is deemed necessary.

Likewise, youth and parents can help review organizational policy language regarding sexual contact between youth and may be more likely to suggest alternatives to language that implies similarity with adult perpetrators of child sexual abuse.

Use child-friendly language. Language can influence how people think and behave towards youth, and many labels that were once common are now avoided as pejorative. One hesitates even to write the word “retard,” a formerly common term that we would never apply to a child. Even “intellectually disabled” still labels the child’s deficit ahead of the child. Person-first language places the child first, as in “child with an intellectual disability.” Person-first or child-friendly language is, we believe, essential to the development of a child safe environment. This concern extends to youth who have engaged in mutual sexual behaviors and youth who have engaged in problem sexual behavior, including behavior that has harmed others. Child safe organizational staff and volunteers avoid referring to youth who engage in mutual sexual behaviors with terms that sexualize, shame, or otherwise stigmatize the youth (e.g., “slut,” “stud,” “whore,” “prostitute”). Adults avoid referring to youth who have engaged in problem sexual behavior with stigmatizing labels that emphasize the behavior over the youth (e.g., “molester,” “offender,” “perpetrator”).

Research has demonstrated that adults who read about a child who has engaged in a “crime of a sexual nature” are more likely to support treatment and less punitive interventions than adults who read about a “juvenile sex offender.”

Does My Organization Have a System to Address Youth Sexual Behavior?

This table identifies critical questions that are central to achieving good practice in addressing youth sexual behavior. Leaders can use these questions and suggested strategies to create their organization’s approach to addressing child and adolescent developmentally normative and problem sexual behavior.